You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize