what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
