The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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