i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
