I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
