i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
