Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
