How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
