Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
