Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
