i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
