I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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