What a fucking waste of an outfit
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
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