watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
