If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
