Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
