Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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