found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I'm just crazy horny about you
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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