i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
