I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Fuck appropriateness.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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