I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Randomize
