Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize
