I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
