"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
