If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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