Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
