11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
