Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
We smell like vodka and hangover
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