She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
