So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
try to milk me bitch
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