the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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