Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
