I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
