i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Is Oprah even human
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
