I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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