so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
