it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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