God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
