i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
