WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
