maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
