Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
