I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
