i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Randomize
