She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
