I think i peed on brittanys purse
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
