that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize
