Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Pants 0. Shit 1.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
