You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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