obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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