She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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