I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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