omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
