names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
