1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
