the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
